Julianna Avedon

News Flash!! Julianna Avedon, aka "Julsy" has run off with the Priesthood bank book. She was last seen in Ecudor swindling the locals into buying barbequed Yak lips by day, drinking cuba libres and singing "Celito Lindo" with a different man every night. We're sending a representative to apprehend her. If you see this woman, do not approach her. - Give us a call at the Internet Oracle, ask for "Zadoc."

I live in Western Washington state. I have degrees in English Literature from the University of Washington and I did post-graduate work at the University of Houston. I'm a writer by profession, which is to say that people have actually paid me (more than once or twice) for things that I've written. It's also to say, ergo that I am not gainfully employed. -So I supplement my laughable income by teaching creative writing at community centers; one Jesuit college; alternative schools; the Quillayute, Tlingit and Shoalwater tribes; a community college or two in this area. ...and by sponging off my family.

When not pouring eagerly over the drivel that trickles into my internet mail box, I read. I confess an addiction to Science Fiction and Science Fantasy. I adore William Gibson, Orson Scott Card, Robert Heinlein, David Brin....Kurt Vonnegut.

I enjoy hiking, camping, horseback riding, snow-boarding and I love both cross country and downhill skiing. I sail, rock climb, I'm a gourmet cook and I quilt. I've also made quite a hobby out getting speeding tickets. I've an impressive collection.

News Flash!! Sent to retrieve her, an unnamed Internet Oracle Priest is instead reported to have been seduced into breaking his vows with fugitive priestess, Julianna Avedon. The two were seen careening down the Champs Elysees in a pink Renault spraying champagne from the windows and singing "La Vie en Rose." Please contact the Internet Oracle immediately if you see these two... Ask for Zadoc.

My sense of humour is a little hard to define. I'm a die-hard fan of British comedy, including Monty Python, The Black Adder, and a little known Brit-com called "Waiting for God." -Masters of sarcasm and scathing wit. I laugh at Woody Allen movies...though my favorite is "Radio Days," and it's not considered a comic masterpiece. I enjoy the dark humour of Evelyn Waugh, the movie "Fargo," I love James Thurber, and I was warped at an early age by a love for Louis Fernand Celine novels.

News Flash!! Spotted on the Boardwalk at Atlantic City, fugitive priest Avedon and several cohorts, dressed in dark suits and sunglasses, were seen doing the "Chuck Berry scoot" and belting out "I'm a Soul Man" at the top of their lungs. If you see them, page Zadoc at 555-9676. He's gone out to find them and he's packin' the staff of ZOT.

Conversely...or perhaps perversely... I have spent more than a few evenings reading "MAD Magazine" or writing Spam limericks. Sometimes called Spamricks, as well as Spam Haiku or "Spamku," I may even attempt a Spam Sonnet (Sponnet) one day.

Riddles and puns are a feast of fun, the worse they are the better by far. Charles Lutwidge Dodgson (Lewis Carroll)

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns. He ought to be drawn and quoted. Fred Allen

These are words I respect and live by. I've long believed that those who object to the pun do so because they are unable to form really good ones themselves; either that or they simply lack taste.

News Flash!! Internet Oracle Priestess Julianna Avedon has been spotted in Kyoto, Japan singing "Yesterday" in flawless Japanese at a Karaoke roboto-bar. If you see this woman, PLEASE! Tell her we really don't care about the bank book; -and the renegade priest is recovering nicely from that incident where he damaged the wallpaper and blew himself out the window after a bowl of her Pasta Fagioli [he's recuperating at "Our Brothers of Perpetual Flatulence,"] and is not likely to prosecute ...BUT GET HER TO STOP THAT INFERNAL SINGING!

If you feel there's more you need to know you can visit my home page at http://edgewise.org or Email me at BistroLily@hotmail.com
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